Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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