Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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