oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
