I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
