You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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