Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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