how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
