he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
