I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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