Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
