oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he puts the penis in happiness.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
