I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
