I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
