Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize