Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
