My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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