He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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