someone get that fucking seahorse.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
