I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
