Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
