worst night to have a conscience
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize