we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
