all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
