Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
