Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
