I feel like abortions should bother me more
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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