Non-Jews are for practice
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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