i just google imaged poop.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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