He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Barsexuality is the new black.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
