I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently you make a good broom.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
