my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
