I look better un-naked...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
