I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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