absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
