Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
