she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
