i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize