butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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