So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
