Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
