does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
