question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
