belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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