wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
