I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
