doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
