guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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