There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
