Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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