Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
