And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
