my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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