They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
