I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
