My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
