im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
