Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
