Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
