In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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