if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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